Life's Blah

I may be sporadically blunt.
Sarcastic? On certain occasions, that I have to concede.
Moody? Only when I haven't acquired much sleep.
But apart from all these, I am not what most people think I am. Misunderstood? I suppose. One thing Mr. Darcy [from Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice] and I have in common; we both have no talent in conversing easily with people we have never met before. Similar to him, I, too, never speak much, unless among my intimate acquaintances. And with friends, just as the book describes him, I'm quite certain that I am remarkably agreeable to them as well, haha!

Still, I find it a little exasperating how countless people, at all times, have this silly notion that I am a snob. While I confess that I'm never the "Miss Congeniality" in real life, I am not [in any way, shape and/or form], inherently obnoxious either. Truth be told, my being reticent, whether you believe it or not, is something I've been learning to overcome. My erratic grim unsmiling manner doesn't help either. This very trait may perhaps be the lone motivation why one suggests that I tend to display an impertinently condescending manner. I have constantly cringed at the thought of addressing this concern but very much compelled to offer reasonable explanation as there are more folks who tends to get the wrong idea about me, than I've ever imagine. While some people I knew think being a snob is of a good thing, I do not revel in such assertion. I see this as nothing but an unflattering remark. That is why I recommend you to consult Miriam Webster to KNOW what the word actually means. Di kagandahan, ano ba?!

So do not think highly of me or consider me an elite of some sort. I wish that is the case but no. I am not friends with PGMA nor will I ever be friends with her. If I fail to say hi because my mind is overly occupied with a lot of things, feel free to approach me and I promise I won't bite. I make friends with everyone and choose not who I will befriend. I have Facebook and Friendster, for crying out loud! Add me if you must and I will confirm/approve you whole-heartedly. Haha! It is my hope that I won't sound too self-absorbed in this entry but if I ever do, please forgive me. *LOL*

I am singing Effie White's I am Changing for all those I've had no clue I offended. Believe me, it was unconsciously done. BWAHAHA! Sincere ako, promise!

With a blank expression, I began to wonder what to blog about while staring in front of my computer screen. Silly as I am, I started to pity my life as of the moment, for lacking thrill and a little out of action since summer set in motion. It was almost 4:00 am. I turned my eyes at the windows. The moon caught my fancy. It was insanely bright; it made me go outside. On the swing, I marveled at how breathtaking it was. I adore such sight, it reminds me so much of the series, Moonlight and how charming Mick St. John is. Then, few minutes shortly, I saw Ma come out from the kitchen door and seconds later, Pa was already on the garage on his way to his car. I figured they will go out for a jog but neither of them wears their exercise outfit, so I stood up from where I was seated, approached Ma and asked,

"San kayo punta?"

"Kuya mo... Ano na naman kaya nangyari doon?" she replied, somehow annoyed.

As I rushed back to my room, I saw Rizza on my way in. Ate May is already up too and told me that a call woke them up. They were about to leave too, got dressed and finally told me that my brother had an accident. Instantly I got anxious and started to inquire. I followed them on the way out and Ate May insist that I must go. So, I went back to my room got dressed and went with them. Inside the car, I was praying, non-stop! The phone rang once more. Ate May let me answered. It was my brother; his words were "Anie, this is bad. This is really bad". As he gave us his location, I began to wonder how bad it could possibly be. This isn’t the first time he’s been on an accident, you see. So with his words "This is bad" I became more and more uneasy. Prayer, however, was the only thing that kept me sane. I realized that such circumstance is the best time to exercise my faith and experience God's reality, firsthand.

There was silence inside the car but I sensed we're almost there. We got ahead of Pa's car. It was still dark but we can already see a couple of people gathered around from afar. There, in a very narrow and unlighted road somewhere in Minning, we passed by Ate Loi's car as Ate May pulls over not far from where the accident took place. My heart almost skip a beat, it was a fearsome thing to behold! The car's windshield was terribly broken into pieces and the front rear on the driver's seat side was terribly crushed. Such sight I must confess could only be seen in movies and television and everything to me was very surreal. My brother was unharmed, thank God, but the passenger of the tricycle they crushed up with was brought to the nearest hospital for minor lacerations. As soon as the sun was up, we headed to the police station where my brother gave his official statement about the incident. Later, we found out that 3 other car accidents were also filed earlier, in which all of the drivers were dead.

Although I know this will be a long conflict to settle, as to who-is -to-blame, who- will-be-paying-for-what-resolution, I am convinced that what I have just seen early this morning is a major demonstration of God's grace in our life, for the most part, my brother's. This is why I know prayer works and that the prayers of the righteous availeth much indeed. It is our grandmother, Esperanza, who up to this moment remains to be our unwavering Watch Woman, earnestly praying for the welfare of her family. Either way, God is more real to me than ever.

My blogging escapade kicked off in 2004. I was 19. Unlike any other 19-year old girls, I was this erratic, naive lass who lacks subtlety and was pretty much torn between her transitions from adolescence to young adulthood. At that point, college still overwhelms me and while I can't seem to shake high school off of my system, I cannot think of a better way to put across how this silly head of mine thinks, than blogging. Then, Life's Blah came out in which its primary purpose was to rant about how strenuous college is, slam on my inconsiderate college professors and basically just vent about my college frustrations. =) It was the perfect ventilation for me until I realized that there are better things to blog about other than trying to strike life with sarcasm. My growth as an individual and as a blogger may conceivably be apparent through the entries I have written here over the years. I'm no writer but it is through blogging that I learn to pay attention to capitalizing letters and all... among other things.

It just warms my heart to actually know that there are people who take their valuable time to read something you randomly wrote in hopes of getting something off of your chest. Nothing cheers me more, than to have readers who frequently visit Life's Blah. As you go through the entries of this blog, bear in mind that how I blog right now and what I am today is the result of the process of change I've gone [and is still going through] over the years. There may be blog entries, in which I overly criticized someone, or may have cussed in one way or another or entries, that may plainly disagree with what I've recently wrote... This is particularly for the church people, who, thanks to StatCounter.com, I am fully aware of your passing by. I do hope that whatever negativity you may read about me in this very place, will not cause you to ever doubt God's power at works in our lives. Just like the rest of you, I, too, am fully depending on God's grace, faithfulness and His love above all. This isn't a justification of some sort. Just a caution to those who'd rather look to people instead to the Lord. So, we have deal then? Awesome! =)

The school canteen had kept me occupied more than ever. There's so much to think about including an exigent budgeting and a nonstop cleaning from time to time. Don't get me wrong but I take pleasure in all of these, I honestly do. So one sunny Friday while doing my usual clean up, I took the time of counting all my free Coke 8 oz to be redeemed from my Coke dealer and thought to go through the bottle crowns container once more, you know, just to be sure. There I was, sorting seriously and might I add, patiently. I kept on getting this Smile Na! Statement from every crown, then, I picked this Royal Tru-Orange crown and once I flip it, to my surprise a FREE SHIRT Statement flashed before my very eyes! I screamed like crazy, ran back to the house and brag about my little luck to almost everyone at home. It's as if I've won in a lottery, not that I join such but yes I felt a little fortunate during that time.

A week later, despite of how sickly I felt after visiting someone from the hospital, I still decided to go malling with Ate Rhoda since it would be her last day. She enormously wants to get her nails done before returning to Abu Dhabi. To make the most of my time with her I agreed to come along. It would also be a perfect time to redeem my free Coke shirt at Bench. So, I asked Ate May to help me get my freebie. She asked me what color, I replied pink but the shirt only comes in Purple, White and Red. She picked Red and left me with Ate Rhoda as soon as she handed me my free shirt. Apparently, they only have what they claimed a free size shirt. Darn, I'd look tibo on this, I thought but since I terribly wanted one, I couldn't care less. It appears that I didn't look like tibo on it... I look fat. EEeekk! I'm still gonna keep it anyway, hmmp!

Minutes after, I can't be happier to accompany Ate Rhoda to the salon since I've been longing for a haircut in awhile now. Going Straight salon charge so much for a haircut, call me a thrift but I am not going to spend Php200 for a haircut, it's not just gonna happen! So Ate Rhoda scouts for another salon and we eventually stumbled in Freshhaire, their haircut cost a Php110. "Oh okay", I complained. I was totally clueless of what hair style I'd really go for but I always wanted a bangs. The lady handed me this sort of like a menu when you're in a diner, but this booklet contains different hair styles you could choose from. As I flip through the pages I saw Alicia Witt and her shoulder length super straight red hair with side-swept bangs and instantly I knew I wanted that very same hair style. "This one!", I pointed out to the hair dresser. Few minutes later, I had my first haircut in a year. My head feels a bit lighter too. What's that got to do with my haircut? I don't know. It's psychological, I guess. Then, the day ended in a bliss. *Sigh* It's good to be alive! Haha! Nag-contemplate bigla... :)

As a child, I'm never good at drawing and/or painting. I don't have that sense of thought-provoking ideas in when it comes to drawing. It was never my forte. Tell me to sing instead and I can rock any BJ Thomas songs, tell me to dance and I can mimic little Aiza Seguerra's cute dance number [back when she was still a SHE] but my objectionable doodles from class goes straight to the trash as soon as my teacher grades it.

High school was no different either. Just as when you expect me to excel at least in Home Economics because I happened to belong to the female class, it's somehow frustrating how my male classmates cross stitch better than I do. I remember my HE teacher nagged the crap out of me for not knowing how to crochet. "Babae ka pa naman!", she exclaimed. She also accused me of attempting of taking her life when I unconsciously poured a box full of baking soda on our group's supposedly-chocolate chip cookies because I don't believe in measuring cups and I was stupid. Boy, she hated me, that I can tell you! This is why I knew whether in arts [drawing, painting of some sort] or in home economics, I just suck major a**.

Then, I was introduce to Adobe Photoshop, I don't exactly know when but it was Asianavenue.com that became the driving force that led me to everything I knew about designing, digitally. Haayy, it's like I've met my soul mate, not that I believe in such, but you know that feeling of tapping on to something that you can do effortlessly? That's exactly how I felt when I first got my hands on Photoshop. I work best with brushes, patterns and vectors and have a thing for photo manipulation. Now I design invitations of any kinds, tarpaulins, posters and cards for those who trust me enough. I am not quite confident in my branding skill yet. If one could even call it a skill, ehehe! So far, these are the projects/works I've came up with over the years. Actually, there's more but these are the only ones I managed to save. This isn't a folio though. I don't think my designs are even good enough for me to release one and by that I'm not being modest or anything. Oh well, check them out if you must, but review them not! :)







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